So, yea, I have been meaning to post a million times before today and haven't. I want to start this week out right. I splurged this weekend and slacked off. So definitely in need of a fresh start. That is why I love Mondays. Most people don't, but I do. It has the chance to be the beginning of something great! I am going to make this the start to a commitment to myself. No more feeling down on myself. When you stumble don't stay down for longer than you have to just get right back up and into the groove. Yup. That's my new motto. Also, I am going to start focusing more on my goals and how to accomplish them. Guess I need to start making lists. Physical lists not just lists in my head. LOL. I always do that and I mentally check them off. It is paper to have it on paper that way I won't forget and say oh well I will do it later. Motivation! Another area I am going to work on. I need it to stay committed and on top of my goals. What are my goals? Well, I want to stay on top of eating right and no more splurging when I am out. I want to keep doing my exercises even when I am feeling down because I know I will feel better when I am done. Right now I am working on P90X. I am on week 2 and I feel stronger but keeping my drive to continue for 90 days is hard. I am so short term. I need to work on my short term and long term goals to see the big picture. Well I finished my delicious chocolate shake an hour ago so guess it is time I start on my workout. Don't worry, still on top of my healthy eating. It was a shakeology shake.

sleepless nights...

The transition to a toddler bed had been going very well...until last night. I think my alsmost two year old son thinks he is a baby again. He woke up at 10:30 and decided that he was not going back to sleep. I tried everything to get him back to sleep. Finally, I gave in and let him sleep in my bed. Big mistake. He assumed that was the go ahead to nurse and I was not going to be up alllll night nursing him. He eventually got the hint and went back to sleep...for an hour! It was like that all night until, finally at four (the usual time he wakes up to nurse), I let him nurse. It wasn't until six that I woke up and realized he was still attached to me. So, not only am I going to have a hard time getting him to sleep and stay asleep in his bed but I think weaning him might be more difficult than I anticipated.

On a happier note, I am so relieved to have finally turned in my paper. Though I think I would like to have had another week to just sit and revise. This term has just flown by and I will really miss this class.

Bedtime Story

My son is almost two and has recently started sleeping in a toddler. He has been sleeping in his bed soundly for a few nights but last night I was wishing that his bed had rails. Of course, that would basically be a crib. after an hour of rocking and nursing and rocking and nursing, I decided that it was time for bed! So, I decided it was time for him to just accept the fact that it was indeed bed time and that he was going to sleep in his bed. This did not go over so well. Another half hour passed trying to just get him to stop getting out of his bed. Some how I got the idea to talk to him. I asked him if he wanted me to tuck him him. Of course he replied no. I asked if I could tuck in one of his stuffed animals. Suprisingly he said "uh huh." After I found one that he approved of, I asked him if he would like a story. Again, I was suprised when he said "uh huh." So I remembered my favorite bed time story. The Three Little Pigs. Well, he listened intently as I told the longest little pigs story! It was so long, the little pigs, were almost fathers of their own little pigs. I have not had to make up stories in a long time ( my other child is 7) though it seemed to come so easily. I really enjoyed our storytime and I think we may have to start doing it every night.

Wordiness

I have not really posted any blogs that are related to class, but this weeks discussion board really has me thinking. I really really and I mean really do not like discussing sentence structure. The paramedic method has me picking apart my sentences and trying to reword them into less wordy sentences. OK. Sounds easy. Well, I am having the hardest time doing it. I am a very wordy person and often use unnecessary words but I do not think my paper is too wordy. When I try to reword my sentences, I either lose my flow, or worse, create an even longer sentence! So I am really struggling this week with just the discussion board...well, I am off on another attempt to reword a paragraph.

My husband never ceases to amaze me...

Jason is the most talented person I know...but also the most humble. He is a great singer but rarely sings, even for me. I have heard him only a handful of times. One of those was when he had a solo in church and brought most of the congregation to tears (because it was so good). He is also a great muscician. I recently learned that there is not an instrument that he can not play beautifully. Last night while at vacation bible school, my husband finished up teaching all of the children one of the VBS songs and our son, as stubborn as he is, did not want to go with the other kids to do crafts. So my husband took him into the choir room and started to play the piano with him. I stood in the hall in awe at how beautifully he played. When our son decided he was done my husband turned around, suprised to see that I had listened (he doesn't like people to hear him do anything). "I didn't know you knew how to play the piano" I said. He replied with a smile, "there isn't an instrument I can't play." Even after seven years of marriage, he still suprises me.

I eat, sleep, think, and even dream about my paper

For 2 weeks now I have been working on my paper. Much of my time I feel was wasted on crumbled up pices of paper and deleted pages on microsoft word. I have been worrying about how my paper would sound, what it would look like and even if I could write it. Every waking moment is spent thinking about my paper...even my sleeping moments. I woke up last night from a dream where I was typing and finishing my paper. I felt so relieved but then I woke up and realized, I was not done. Still, while I ate breakfast, I thought about how good it will feel when unit 9 comes and I submit my paper. So the dread is gone and now I am motivated to type!

beginning the process

oh writing...why is it so hard to start? Like an artist sculpting a block of marble, I am so afraid to ruin a piece of paper. I am afraid someone will see my unfinished thoughts and see the mess that my brain spews out. Erasing and crumbling the paper are not enough to get rid of my mistake of an attempt at writing... but still...I have to start somewhere. I have to post prewriting for everyone to see today...and the fact that I do not like to see my prewriting but have to show others is like standing on a stage naked in front of strangers. I feel that prewriting is a personal thing, like a journal entry. I just have to remind myself that this is part of the process and when my paper is complete, all of the mistakes will not matter. So, I guess now that I am here, at my desk, at the computer...I must start...